Learning from suffering

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Sorrow comes in great waves—no one can know that better than you—but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us it leaves us on the spot, and we know that if it is strong we are stronger, inasmuch as it passes and we remain. It wears us, uses us, but we wear it and use it in return; and it is blind, whereas we after a manner see.

Henry James

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Original Citation

James, Henry. Letter to Grace Norton. 28 July 1883.

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Current Citation

James, Henry. "July 28th [1883] To Grace Norton." The Complete Letters of Henry James, 1883-1884, edited by Michael Anesko and Greg W. Zacharias. Vol. 1, University of Nebraska Press, 2018.

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There is not a woman in the world the possession of whom is as precious as that of the truths which she reveals to us by causing us to suffer.

Marcel Proust

In Search of Lost Time

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Original Citation

Proust, Marcel. Albertine disparue [Albertine Gone]. Paris: Gallimard, 1927.

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Proust, Marcel. The Fugitive, edited and translated by Peter Collier. Penguin Classics, 2021.

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Pain is an event, an experience that must be recognized, named, and then used in some way in order for the experience to change, to be transformed into something else, strength or knowledge or action.

Audre Lorde

Sister Outsider

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Lorde, Audre. "Eye to Eye: Black Women, Hatred, and Anger." Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Crossing Press, 1984.

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Life's hard. It's suppose to be. If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't learn a thing, you know?

Before Sunset

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Before Sunset. Directed by Richard Linklater, Castle Rock Entertainment/ Detour Filmproduction/Columbia Pictures, 2004.

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You know Marcel Proust? Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh...he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18, ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school, those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

Little Miss Sunshine

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Little Miss Sunshine. Directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, Big Beach Films/Bona Fide Productions/Third Gear Productions, 2006.

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Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching… I have been bent and broken, but—I hope—into a better shape.

Charles Dickens

Great Expectations

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Original Citation

Dickens, Charles. "Great Expectations." All the Year Round. London: Chapman and Hall, 3 Aug. 1861, issue 35, ch. 59.

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Current Citation

Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations. Penguin Classics, 2010, ch. 59.

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The fool learns by suffering.

Hesiod

Works and Days

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Original Citation

Hesiod. Ἔργα καὶ Ἡμέραι [Works and Days]. c. 700 BC, l. 218.

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Current Citation

Hesiod. "Works and Days." Theogony and Works and Days, translated by M. L. West. Oxford University Press, 2009, l. 218.

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It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive.

W. Somerset Maugham

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Original Citation

Maugham, William Somerset. The Moon and Sixpence. William Heinemann, 1919, ch. 17.

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Maugham, William Somerset. The Moon and Sixpence. Vintage Classics, 2009, ch. 17.

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