Comedy (film)

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You're like an injured young fawn who's been nursed back to health and is finally going to be rereleased into the wilderness.

Old School

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Old School. Directed by Todd Phillips, The Montecito Picture Company, 2003.

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I just got out of a five-and-a-half year relationship so I'm not looking for anything serious, just sexual activity.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Directed by Nick Stoller, Apatow Productions, 2008.

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In no way, shape, or form do I feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

Step Brothers

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Step Brothers. Directed by Adam McKay, Columbia Pictures/Relativity Media/The Apatow Company/Mosaic Media Group/Gary Sanchez Productions, 2008.

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Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle, it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?

Wayne's World

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Wayne's World. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, Paramount Pictures, 1992.

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Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious.

Legally Blonde

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Legally Blonde. Directed by Robert Luketic, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Marc Platt Productions, 2001.

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I'd say in a given week, I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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I think people place too much emphasis on their careers. I wish we could all live in the mountains at high altitude. That's where I see myself in five years. How about you?

Groundhog Day

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Groundhog Day. Directed by Harold Ramis, Columbia Pictures, 1993.

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Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it could be.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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I want you to hold onto God's unchanging hand 'cause he helped Joshua fight the Battle of Jericho. Yes. He helped Daniel get out of the lion's den. He helped Gilligan get off the island!

Coming to America

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Coming To America. Directed by John Landis, Eddie Murphy Productions, 1988.

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If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

Derek Zoolander

Zoolander

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Zoolander. Directed by Ben Stiller, Village Roadshow Productions/VH1 Films/NPV Entertinment/Red Hour Productions/Scott Rudin Productions, 2001.

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There are only three ages for women in Hollywood - Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.

The First Wives Club

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The First Wives Club. Directed by Hugh Wilson, Paramount Pictures, 1996.

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I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers!"

Monty Python's Life of Brian

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Monty Python's Life of Brian. Directed by Terry Jones, Handmade Films/Python (Monty) Pictures, 1979.

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I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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I'm smart, you're dumb, I'm big, you're little, I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Matilda

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Matilda. Directed by Danny DeVito. Based on Matilda by Roald Dahl. TriStar Pictures/Jersey Films, 1996.

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That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else.

Sixteen Candles

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Sixteen Candles. Directed by John Hughes, Universal Pictures/Channel Productions, 1984.

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All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life, remind me to kill myself.

Dazed and Confused

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Dazed and Confused. Directed by Richard Linklater, Detour Filmproduction/Alphaville Films, 1993.

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Her hair was the color of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. She was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket.

Lt. Frank Drebin

Naked Gun

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Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad. Directed by David Zucker, Paramount Pictures, 1988.

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I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen and all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

Caddyshack

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Caddyshack. Directed by Harold Ramis, Orion Pictures, 1980.

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My mind is a raging torrent flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

Blazing Saddles

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Blazing Saddles. Directed by Mel Brooks, Crossbow Productions, 1974.

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You know, I started out on clean up, just like you guys. But now…see, I’m washing lettuce. Soon I’ll be on fries; then the grill. A year or two, I make assistant manager, and that’s where the big bucks start rollin' in.