Comedy (film)

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Listen, the only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front!

Monty Python's Life of Brian

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Monty Python's Life of Brian. Directed by Terry Jones, Handmade Films/Python (Monty) Pictures, 1979.

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What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't, buddy. It's guy code, ok? Guy's don't tell on other guys, that's something chicks do. You're not a chick, are you? Alright. Good talk. I'll see you out there.

Old School

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Old School. Directed by Todd Phillips, The Montecito Picture Company, 2003.

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There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Airplane!

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Airplane! Directed by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker. Paramount Pictures/Howard W. Koch Productions, 1980.

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All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Monty Python's Life of Brian

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Monty Python's Life of Brian. Directed by Terry Jones, Handmade Films/Python (Monty) Pictures, 1979.

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Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don't get mad, get everything.

The First Wives Club

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The First Wives Club. Directed by Hugh Wilson, Paramount Pictures, 1996.

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Hey, guys, one more thing, hey, this summer, when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don’t forget what you’re celebrating, and that’s the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn’t want to pay their taxes.

Dazed and Confused

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Dazed and Confused. Directed by Richard Linklater, Detour Filmproduction/Alphaville Films, 1993.

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Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the unbridled carnage you are about to witness. Superbowl, The World Series—they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?

Trading Places

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Trading Places. Directed by John Landis, Paramount Pictures Studios/Cinema Group Ventures, 1983.

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Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

Ratatouille

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Ratatouille. Directed by Brad Bird, Pixar Animation Studios/Walt Disney Pictures, 2007.

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So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, um, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. Python (Monty) Pictures/Michael White Productions/National Film Trustee Company, 1975.

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I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer.

Step Brothers

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Step Brothers. Directed by Adam McKay, Columbia Pictures/Relativity Media/The Apatow Company/Mosaic Media Group/Gary Sanchez Productions, 2008.

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How you feel about your family is a complicated thing. Deep down, you'll always love them. But you can forget that you love them, and you can hurt them and they can hurt you, and that's not just because you're young.

Home Alone

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Home Alone. Directed by Chris Columbus, Hughes Entertainment , 1990.

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Let me tell you something about these tattoos, okay. That is Buddhist, that is Nordic, that is Hindu, that's just gibberish. They are completely conflicting ideologies, and that does not make you a citizen of the world, it makes you full of shit!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Directed by Nick Stoller, Apatow Productions, 2008.

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And I love you. Because I've learned that Platonic love can exist between two grown men.

Wayne's World

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Wayne's World. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, Paramount Pictures, 1992.

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Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms, and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements!

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.

Ralphie Parker

A Christmas Story

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A Christmas Story. Directed by Bob Clark, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1983.

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Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and find out that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.

El Guapo

Three Amigos!

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Three Amigos. Directed by John Landis, Orion Pictures, 1986.

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Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

The Princess Bride

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The Princess Bride. Directed by Rob Reiner, Act III Communications/Buttercup Films/The Princess Bride Ltd., 1987.

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Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.

Ron Burgundy

Anchorman

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Directed by Adam McKay, Apatow Productions, 2004.

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Treat every day like Christmas.

Buddy

Elf

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Elf. Directed by Jon Favreau. New Line Cinema/Guy Walks Into a Bar Productions, 2003.

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