Comedy (film)

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When life gives you lemons, just say "Fuck the lemons," and bail.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Directed by Nick Stoller, Apatow Productions, 2008.

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I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

What About Bob?

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What About Bob? Directed by Frank Oz, Touchstone Pictures/Touchwood Pacific Partners, 1991.

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Dude, I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rockin' ain't no walk in the park, lady.

School of Rock

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School of Rock. Directed by Richard Linklater, Scott Rudin Productions, 2003.

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Live in the now.

Garth Algar

Wayne's World

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Wayne's World. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, Paramount Pictures, 1992.

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Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!

Monty Python's Life of Brian

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Monty Python's Life of Brian. Directed by Terry Jones, Handmade Films/Python (Monty) Pictures, 1979.

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We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life. Oops, we made a mistake.

Mrs. Doubtfire

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Mrs. Doubtfire. Directed by Chris Columbus, 20th Century Fox/Blue Wolf Productions, 1993.

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I don’t like my job and I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Step Brothers

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Step Brothers. Directed by Adam McKay, Columbia Pictures/Relativity Media/The Apatow Company/Mosaic Media Group/Gary Sanchez Productions, 2008.

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I'd rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Legally Blonde

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Legally Blonde. Directed by Robert Luketic, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Marc Platt Productions, 2001.

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You be positive. I'll be realistic.

Home Alone

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Home Alone. Directed by Chris Columbus, Hughes Entertainment , 1990.

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Well maybe the real God uses tricks, you know? Maybe he's not omnipotent. He's just been around so long he knows everything.

Groundhog Day

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Groundhog Day. Directed by Harold Ramis, Columbia Pictures, 1993.

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You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

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Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Directed by John Hughes, Hughes Entertainment, 1987.

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I could never find time for love. It's too heavy. It's an anchor that drowns a man. Besides, I got the sky, the smell of jet exhaust, my bike.

Hot Shots!

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Hot Shots. Directed by Jim Abrahams, 20th Century Fox, 1991.

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I'm all for that. Especially with women. You know, they may not admit it, but they all want a man to…take charge. Tell them what to do.

Coming to America

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Coming To America. Directed by John Landis, Eddie Murphy Productions, 1988.

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It's just a flesh wound.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. Python (Monty) Pictures/Michael White Productions/National Film Trustee Company, 1975.

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The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

Ralphie Parker

A Christmas Story

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A Christmas Story. Directed by Bob Clark, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1983.

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Life does not stop and start at your convenience you miserable piece of shit.

The Big Lebowski

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The Big Lebowski. Directed by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Working Title Films, 1998.

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People come up to me all the time and say "you should be a model," or, "you look just like a model," or "maybe you should try to be a man who models." And I always have to laugh because I'm so good looking. Of course I'm a model.

Derek Zoolander

Zoolander

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Zoolander. Directed by Ben Stiller, Village Roadshow Productions/VH1 Films/NPV Entertinment/Red Hour Productions/Scott Rudin Productions, 2001.