Comedy

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Love, it's a motherfucker, huh?

Old School

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Old School. Directed by Todd Phillips, The Montecito Picture Company, 2003.

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I always say, religion is a fine thing, taken in moderation.

Trading Places

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Trading Places. Directed by John Landis, Paramount Pictures Studios/Cinema Group Ventures, 1983.

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You're like an injured young fawn who's been nursed back to health and is finally going to be rereleased into the wilderness.

Old School

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Old School. Directed by Todd Phillips, The Montecito Picture Company, 2003.

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The world has joked incessantly for over fifty centuries.
And every joke that's possible has long ago been made.

W.S. Gilbert

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Gilbert, William Schwenck. His Excellency. Composed by F. Osmond Carr. 1894, Lyric Theatre, London, England, UK.

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Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

George Chapman

All Fools

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Original Citation

Chapman, George. "All Fools." Children of the Queen's Revels, 1605, Court before King James I, England, UK, act 5, sc. 2.

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Chapman, George. "All Fools." Elizabethan Comedies: A Basic Anthology. Dover Publications, 2017, act 5, sc. 2.

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I just got out of a five-and-a-half year relationship so I'm not looking for anything serious, just sexual activity.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Directed by Nick Stoller, Apatow Productions, 2008.

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In no way, shape, or form do I feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

Step Brothers

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Step Brothers. Directed by Adam McKay, Columbia Pictures/Relativity Media/The Apatow Company/Mosaic Media Group/Gary Sanchez Productions, 2008.

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Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle, it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?

Wayne's World

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Wayne's World. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, Paramount Pictures, 1992.

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Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious.

Legally Blonde

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Legally Blonde. Directed by Robert Luketic, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Marc Platt Productions, 2001.

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I'd say in a given week, I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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I think people place too much emphasis on their careers. I wish we could all live in the mountains at high altitude. That's where I see myself in five years. How about you?

Groundhog Day

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Groundhog Day. Directed by Harold Ramis, Columbia Pictures, 1993.

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Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it could be.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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Celibacy is a lot less complicated than romantic relationships.

The Priest

Fleabag

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"Episode #2.3." Fleabag, written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, directed by Harry Bradbeer, season 2, episode 3, Amazon Studios and British Broadcasting Corporation, 2019.

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I want you to hold onto God's unchanging hand 'cause he helped Joshua fight the Battle of Jericho. Yes. He helped Daniel get out of the lion's den. He helped Gilligan get off the island!

Coming to America

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Coming To America. Directed by John Landis, Eddie Murphy Productions, 1988.

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If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

Derek Zoolander

Zoolander

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Zoolander. Directed by Ben Stiller, Village Roadshow Productions/VH1 Films/NPV Entertinment/Red Hour Productions/Scott Rudin Productions, 2001.

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There are only three ages for women in Hollywood - Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.

The First Wives Club

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The First Wives Club. Directed by Hugh Wilson, Paramount Pictures, 1996.

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I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers!"

Monty Python's Life of Brian

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Monty Python's Life of Brian. Directed by Terry Jones, Handmade Films/Python (Monty) Pictures, 1979.

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Hair is everything. We wish it wasn’t so we could actually think about something else occasionally. But it is. It’s the difference between a good day and a bad day. We’re meant to think that it’s a symbol of power, that it’s a symbol of fertility.

Fleabag

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"Episode #2.5." Fleabag, written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, directed by Harry Bradbeer, season 2, episode 5, Amazon Studios and British Broadcasting Corporation, 2019.

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I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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You see, I believe in the voters. They understand that elections aren't just popularity contests. They know this country was built by people just like me who work very hard and don't have everything handed to them on a silver spoon.

Election

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Election. Directed by Alexander Payne. MTV Productions and Bona Fide Productions, 1999.

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