Comedy

Explore 373 quotes from the following genre: Comedy

Sort

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

Jerry Seinfeld

Seinfeld

Watch Season 4 of Seinfeld at Amazon Watch Season 4 of Seinfeld at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

"The Shoes." Seinfeld, written by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and Peter Mehlman, directed by Tom Cherones, season 4, episode 16, Shapiro/West Productions and Castle Rock Entertainment, 1993.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to say "yes." Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more!

Liz Lemon

There are no other quotes by this person in the Bon Mots database.

30 Rock

Watch Season 5 of 30 Rock at Amazon Watch Season 5 of 30 Rock at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

"Mrs. Donaghy." 30 Rock, written by Tina Fey and Jack Burditt, directed by Tricia Brock, season 5, episode 11, Broadway Video and Little Stranger, 2011.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.

Homer Simpson

The Simpsons

Watch Season 5 of The Simpsons at Amazon Watch Season 5 of The Simpsons at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

"Boy Scoutz 'n the Hood." The Simpsons, written by Matt Groening and James L. Brooks and Sam Simon, directed by Jeffrey Lynch, season 5, episode 8, Gracie Films and 20th Century Fox Television, 1993.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions.

Friday

Watch Friday at Amazon Watch Friday at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Friday. Directed by F. Gary Gray, New Line Productions/Ghetto Bird Productions, 1995.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive he always wants to have sex with her.

When Harry Met Sally…

Watch When Harry Met Sally at Amazon Watch When Harry Met Sally at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

When Harry Met Sally... Directed by Rob Reiner, Nelson Entertainment/Castle Rock Entertainment, 1989.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

It is anchorman, not anchorlady! And that is a scientific fact!

Anchorman

Watch Anchorman at Amazon Watch Anchorman at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Directed by Adam McKay, Apatow Productions, 2004.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I. O. U. S.

Lloyd Christmas

Dumb and Dumber

Watch Dumb and Dumber at Amazon Watch Dumb and Dumber at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Dumb and Dumber. Directed by Peter Farrelly, Katja Motion Picture Corporation/Krevoy/Stabler/Wessler Production, 1994.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

The Princess Bride

Watch The Princess Bride at Amazon Watch The Princess Bride at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

The Princess Bride. Directed by Rob Reiner, Act III Communications/Buttercup Films/The Princess Bride Ltd., 1987.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

Legally Blonde

Watch Legally Blonde at Amazon Watch Legally Blonde at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Statement Type

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Legally Blonde. Directed by Robert Luketic, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Marc Platt Productions, 2001.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite.

Buddy

Elf

Watch Elf at Amazon Watch Elf at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Elf. Directed by Jon Favreau. New Line Cinema/Guy Walks Into a Bar Productions, 2003.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

The Dude abides.

The Dude

There are no other quotes by this person in the Bon Mots database.

The Big Lebowski

Watch The Big Lebowski at Amazon Watch The Big Lebowski at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

The Big Lebowski. Directed by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Working Title Films, 1998.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

If I saw myself in clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Happy Gilmore

Watch Happy Gilmore at Amazon Watch Happy Gilmore at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Statement Type

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Happy Gilmore. Directed by Dennis Dugan, Brillstein-Grey Entertainment/Robert Simonds Productions, 1996.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation

Watch Season 4 of Parks and Recreation at Amazon Watch Season 4 of Parks and Recreation at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Statement Type

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

"Sweet Sixteen." Parks and Recreation, written by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur and Norm Hiscock, directed by Michael Schur, season 4, episode 16, Deedle-Dee Productions and Fremulon, 2012.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.

Bad News Bears (1976)

There are no other quotes from this source in the Bon Mots database.

Watch The Bad News Bears at Amazon Watch The Bad News Bears at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

The Bad News Bears. Directed by Michael Ritchie, Paramount Pictures, 1976.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

America is great indeed. Imagine a country so free, one can throw glass on the streets!

Prince Akeem

Coming to America

Watch Coming to America at Amazon Watch Coming to America at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Statement Type

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

Coming To America. Directed by John Landis, Eddie Murphy Productions, 1988.

Citation text copied to clipboard.

Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.

Leslie Knope

Parks and Recreation

Watch Season 2 of Parks and Recreation at Amazon Watch Season 2 of Parks and Recreation at Amazon

More information about this quote

Topic

Speaker

Actor

Source

Medium

Genre

Language

Time

Authentication Score 3

More information on Authentication Score coming soon.

Citation

"Hunting Trip." Parks and Recreation, written by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur and Dan Goor, directed by Greg Daniels, season 2, episode 10, Deedle-Dee Productions and Fremulon, 2009.

Citation text copied to clipboard.