Comedy

Explore 373 quotes from the following genre: Comedy

Truth that comes from the gut, not books.

Stephen Colbert

The definition of "truthiness".

More information about this quote

Topic

Truth

Speaker

Stephen Colbert

Source

The Colbert Report

Medium

TV program

Genre

Comedy (TV) Comedy

Language

English

Time

2005 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 1

Citation

"Truthiness." The Colbert Report, created by Stephen Colbert, season 1, episode 1, Spartina Productions and Busboy Productions and Comedy Partners, 2005.

After all, seasons change, so do cities; people come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

Carrie

Sex and the City

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Topic

The only constant is change Loved ones Friends

Speaker

Carrie

Actor

Sarah Jessica Parker

Source

Sex and the City

Medium

TV program

Genre

Romantic comedy (TV) Comedy (TV) Romantic comedy Comedy

Language

English

Time

2002 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

"I Heart NY." Sex and the City, written by Darren Star and Michael Patrick King and Candace Bushnell, directed by Martha Coolidge, season 4, episode 18, Darren Star Productions, 2002.

Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

Wedding Crashers

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Topic

Turn-ons Grief

Speaker

Chazz Reinhold

Actor

Will Ferrell

Source

Wedding Crashers

Medium

Film

Genre

Romantic comedy (film) Comedy (film) Romantic comedy Comedy

Language

English

Time

2005 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Wedding Crashers. Directed by David Dobkin. New Line Cinema/Tapestry Films, 2005.

What if there were no tomorrow?

Groundhog Day

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Topic

The future

Speaker

Phil

Actor

Bill Murray

Source

Groundhog Day

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Fantasy (film) Comedy Fantasy

Statement Type

Question

Language

English

Time

1993 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Groundhog Day. Directed by Harold Ramis, Columbia Pictures, 1993.

If you wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.

Monty Python's Life of Brian

On the People's Front of Judea, a fictional group of Jewish revolutionaries during the time of Jesus.

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Topic

Anti-imperialism Revolutionary politics Politics

Speaker

Reg

Actor

John Cleese

Source

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Language

English

Time

1979 1970s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Monty Python's Life of Brian. Directed by Terry Jones, Handmade Films/Python (Monty) Pictures, 1979.

I'm saying this to you with love, compassion, and the spirit of true sisterhood, you are full of shit!

The First Wives Club

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Speaker

Brenda Morelli Cushman

Actor

Bette Midler

Source

The First Wives Club

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Statement Type

Calling someone out

Language

English

Time

1996 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

The First Wives Club. Directed by Hugh Wilson, Paramount Pictures, 1996.

It all became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I've made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat-it's all been wrong.

Seinfeld

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Topic

Failure

Speaker

George Costanza

Actor

Jason Alexander

Source

Seinfeld

Medium

TV program

Genre

Sitcom Comedy (TV) Comedy

Language

English

Time

1994 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

"The Hot Tub." Seinfeld, written by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and Gregg Kavet, directed by Andy Ackerman, season 7, episode 5, Shapiro/West Productions and Castle Rock Entertainment, 1995.

There is a pleasure sure,
In being mad, which none but madmen know!

John Dryden

The Spanish Friar, or the Double Discovery

More information about this quote

Topic

Insanity

Speaker

Torrismond

Author

John Dryden

Source

The Spanish Friar, or the Double Discovery

Medium

Play

Genre

Tragedy (play) Comedy (play) Tragedy Comedy

Language

English

Time

1680 1680s 17th century

Authentication Score 3

Original Citation

Dryden, John. The Spanish Friar, or the Double Discovery. c. 1680, Duke's Theatre, London, England, UK, act 2, sc. 2.

Current Citation

Dryden, John. "The Spanish Fryar." The Works of John Dryden, edited by Vinton A. Dearing and Alan Roper. Vol. 14, University of California Press, 1992, act 2, sc. 2.

We fear change.

Garth Algar

Wayne's World

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Topic

Resistance to change Change

Speaker

Garth Algar

Actor

Dana Carvey

Source

Wayne's World

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Language

English

Time

1992 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Wayne's World. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, Paramount Pictures, 1992.

You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.

Wedding Crashers

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Topic

Head vs. heart Human body

Speaker

John Beckwith

Actor

Owen Wilson

Source

Wedding Crashers

Medium

Film

Genre

Romantic comedy (film) Comedy (film) Romantic comedy Comedy

Language

English

Time

2005 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Wedding Crashers. Directed by David Dobkin. New Line Cinema/Tapestry Films, 2005.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Airplane!

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Topic

Stress Smoking

Speaker

Steve McCroskey

Actor

Lloyd Bridges

Source

Airplane!

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Language

English

Time

1980 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Airplane! Directed by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker. Paramount Pictures/Howard W. Koch Productions, 1980.

No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions because we are the three amigos!

Three Amigos!

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Topic

Courage Facing one's fears Willingness to fight

Speaker

Dusty Bottoms

Actor

Chevy Chase

Source

Three Amigos!

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Western (film) Comedy Western

Language

English

Time

1986 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Three Amigos. Directed by John Landis, Orion Pictures, 1986.

Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his mouth. Now, mostly dead is slightly alive.

The Princess Bride

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More information about this quote

Topic

Life and death Death

Speaker

Miracle Max

Actor

Billy Crystal

Source

The Princess Bride

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Fantasy (film) Comedy Fantasy

Language

English

Time

1987 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

The Princess Bride. Directed by Rob Reiner, Act III Communications/Buttercup Films/The Princess Bride Ltd., 1987.

When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.

When Harry Met Sally…

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Topic

Pessimism

Speaker

Harry Burns

Actor

Billy Crystal

Source

When Harry Met Sally…

Medium

Film

Genre

Romantic comedy (film) Comedy (film) Romantic comedy Comedy

Language

English

Time

1989 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

When Harry Met Sally... Directed by Rob Reiner, Nelson Entertainment/Castle Rock Entertainment, 1989.

Oh, now you’re saying that I’m redundant, that I repeat myself, that I say things over and over!

Frasier Crane

Cheers

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Topic

Talking too much

Speaker

Frasier Crane

Actor

Kelsey Grammer

Source

Cheers

Medium

TV program

Genre

Sitcom Comedy (TV) Comedy

Statement Type

Irony

Language

English

Time

1985 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

"Behind Every Great Man." Cheers, written by Glen Charles and Les Charles and James Burrows, directed by James Burrows, season 3, episode 19, Charles/Burrows/Charles Productions and Paramount Television, 1985.

Long as you live you ain't never gonna see no black vice president. Not while the president's white. They tell you to never say never? I'm saying never. You know why? Cause some black guy would just kill the president, that's why! Shit, I'd do it!

Chris Rock

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More information about this quote

Topic

Black President Assassination of the President Race relations American politics

Speaker

Chris Rock

Source

Bring the Pain

Medium

Standup comedy

Genre

Comedy

Language

English

Time

1996 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Bring the Pain. HBO, 1 June 1996.

I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation

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Topic

Eating American character

Speaker

Ron Swanson

Actor

Nick Offerman

Source

Parks and Recreation

Medium

TV program

Genre

Comedy (TV) Comedy

Language

English

Time

2010 2010s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

"Sweetums." Parks and Recreation, written by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur and Alan Yang, directed by Dean Holland, season 2, episode 15, Deedle-Dee Productions and Fremulon, 2010.

My foe, my enemy, is an animal. In order to conquer it, I have to think like an animal, and whenever possible, to look like one.

Caddyshack

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More information about this quote

Topic

Man and animals

Speaker

Carl Spackler

Actor

Bill Murray

Source

Caddyshack

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Language

English

Time

1980 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Caddyshack. Directed by Harold Ramis, Orion Pictures, 1980.

I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.

Michael Scott

The Office

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Topic

Character flaws Imperfection

Speaker

Michael Scott

Actor

Steve Carell

Source

The Office

Medium

TV program

Genre

Comedy (TV) Comedy

Language

English

Time

2007 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

"Fun Run." The Office, written by Greg Daniels and Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, directed by Greg Daniels, season 4, episode 1, Deedle-Dee Productions and Reveille Productions, 2007.

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name, best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation

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Topic

Male friendship Friendship

Speaker

Ron Swanson

Actor

Nick Offerman

Source

Parks and Recreation

Medium

TV program

Genre

Comedy (TV) Comedy

Language

English

Time

2011 2010s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

"Flu Season." Parks and Recreation, written by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur and Norm Hiscock, directed by Wendey Stanzler, season 3, episode 2, Deedle-Dee Productions and Fremulon, 2011.