Comedy

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Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.

Wayne Campbell

Wayne's World

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Wayne's World. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, Paramount Pictures, 1992.

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Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

Duck Soup

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Duck Soup. Directed by Leo McCarey. Paramount Pictures Studio, 1933.

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There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

The Princess Bride

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The Princess Bride. Directed by Rob Reiner, Act III Communications/Buttercup Films/The Princess Bride Ltd., 1987.

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When you got a career, there ain't enough time in the day. You look at your watch, time just flies, like God damn, whoa, it's 5:35! Damn, I gotta come in early tomorrow and work on my project. Cause there ain't enough time when you got a career. When you got a job, there's too much time. That's right, you look at your watch like, ah shit. 9:08.

Chris Rock

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger. HBO, 27 Sept. 2008.

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That was stupid. How the hell you gonna get fired on your day off?

Friday

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Friday. Directed by F. Gary Gray, New Line Productions/Ghetto Bird Productions, 1995.

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George, we’ve had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.

Frank Costanza

Seinfeld

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"The Junk Mail." Seinfeld, written by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and Spike Feresten, directed by Andy Ackerman, season 9, episode 5, Shapiro/West Productions and Castle Rock Entertainment, 1997.

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Factories provide three things this country desperately needs: jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs.

Jack Donaghy

30 Rock

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"Meet the Woggels!" 30 Rock, written by Tina Fey and Ron Weiner, directed by Linda Mendoza, season 6, episode 17, Broadway Video and Little Stranger, 2012.

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Well, they say a man who has to buy a big car like that is trying to compensate for smaller genitals.

Mrs. Doubtfire

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Mrs. Doubtfire. Directed by Chris Columbus, 20th Century Fox/Blue Wolf Productions, 1993.

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I will be watching you, studying your every move, and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.

Jack Byrnes

Meet the Parents

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Meet the Parents. Directed by Jay Roach, TriBeCa Productions/Nancy Tenenbaum Productions, 2000.

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Smokey, my friend, you're entering a world of pain.

The Big Lebowski

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The Big Lebowski. Directed by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Working Title Films, 1998.

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Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.

Borat

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Borat. Directed by Larry Charles, Four by Two Films/Everyman Pictures/20th Century Fox, Dune Entertainment/One America Productions/Ingenious Media/Talkback/Channel 4, 2006.

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A friend in need is a pest.

Wedding Crashers

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Wedding Crashers. Directed by David Dobkin. New Line Cinema/Tapestry Films, 2005.

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Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

Home Alone

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Home Alone. Directed by Chris Columbus, Hughes Entertainment , 1990.

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By the way...I faked every orgasm!

Lt. Frank Drebin

Naked Gun

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Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad. Directed by David Zucker, Paramount Pictures, 1988.

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Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone who turns me on?

Community

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"Pilot." Community, written by Dan Harmon, directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo, season 1, episode 1, Krasnoff Foster Productions and Harmonius Claptrap, 2009.

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This ain't something a man usually tells a woman: I love you, Edith.

Archie Bunker

All in the Family

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"Archie in the Cellar." All in the Family, written by Norman Lear and Don Nicholl and Michael Ross, directed by Bob LaHendro and John Rich, season 4, episode 10, Tandem Productions, 1973.

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