Dave Chappelle

Explore 10 quotes by Dave Chappelle

Men have nice cars. Not cause they like nice cars. Because they know women like nice cars. That’s how it goes. Cause men are hunters. And the car is the bait. And a woman comes up and says: “Ooh, nice Porsche.” “Gotcha, bitch!”

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Topic

Pursuing women

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Black people and police Black experience Criminal law

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Black President American Presidency

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

New white people. You can’t scare these white people. I tried. Roll up on 'em: BOO! "What the hell is wrong with you? Those days are over."

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Gentrification

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

John F. Kennedy. Remember him? He fucked Marilyn Monroe. Matter of fact, him and his brother Bobby fucked Marilyn Monroe. And history doesn’t talk about that much. You know why history doesn’t talk about that much? Because those two pages in history are stuck together.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

History

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

Chivalry is dead. And women killed it.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Chivalry is dead Gender relations

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

If pussy was a stock, it would be plummeting right now because you’ve flooded the market with it. You’re giving it away too easy.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Chastity Men and women

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

That girl was young, and she made a mistake that young girls make. She wanted to fuck a powerful man. Period. That’s as far as she thought it through.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Power as aphrodisiac

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

You gotta make life interesting like that cause the shit is flimsy. Life is flimsy. You…you think you’re gonna live, but ain’t nobody gon’ live forever.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

Living life to the fullest

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

I’m not saying I don’t like police. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I’m just scared of 'em. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we want to call them too. Somebody broke into my house once. This is a good time to call 'em. But I didn't, I don’t know, mm-mm.

Dave Chappelle

Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly

Watch Killin' Them Softly at Amazon Watch Killin' Them Softly at Amazon
Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

More information about this quote

Topic

Black people and police Police

Speaker

Dave Chappelle

Source

Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

2000 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.