Killin' Them Softly

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Men have nice cars. Not cause they like nice cars. Because they know women like nice cars. That’s how it goes. Cause men are hunters. And the car is the bait. And a woman comes up and says: “Ooh, nice Porsche.” “Gotcha, bitch!”

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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New white people. You can’t scare these white people. I tried. Roll up on 'em: BOO! "What the hell is wrong with you? Those days are over."

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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John F. Kennedy. Remember him? He fucked Marilyn Monroe. Matter of fact, him and his brother Bobby fucked Marilyn Monroe. And history doesn’t talk about that much. You know why history doesn’t talk about that much? Because those two pages in history are stuck together.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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Chivalry is dead. And women killed it.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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If pussy was a stock, it would be plummeting right now because you’ve flooded the market with it. You’re giving it away too easy.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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That girl was young, and she made a mistake that young girls make. She wanted to fuck a powerful man. Period. That’s as far as she thought it through.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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You gotta make life interesting like that cause the shit is flimsy. Life is flimsy. You…you think you’re gonna live, but ain’t nobody gon’ live forever.

Dave Chappelle

Killin' Them Softly

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Chappelle, Dave. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. HBO, 26 July 2000.

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