Joke

Explore 36 quotes of the following type: Joke

Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.

Borat

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Speaker

Borat

Actor

Sacha Baron Cohen

Source

Borat

Medium

Film

Genre

Mockumentary Comedy (film) Comedy

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

2006 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Borat. Directed by Larry Charles, Four by Two Films/Everyman Pictures/20th Century Fox, Dune Entertainment/One America Productions/Ingenious Media/Talkback/Channel 4, 2006.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Mitch Hedberg

Strategic Grill Locations

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Topic

Doing drugs Drugs

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Strategic Grill Locations

Medium

Comedy album

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Strategic Grill Locations. 7 Sept. 1999, The Laff Stop Comedy Club, Houston, Texas, USA.

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Erica Jong

Fear of Flying

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Topic

Marriage

Author

Erica Jong

Source

Fear of Flying

Medium

Novel

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1973 1970s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Anonymous woman quoted in Fear of Flying, written by Erica Jong. Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1973.

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half.

The Jerk

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Topic

Nature of time Passage of time Time

Speaker

Navin Johnson

Actor

Steve Martin

Source

The Jerk

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1979 1970s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

The Jerk. Directed by Carl Reiner, Aspen Film Society, 1979.

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believes it was the blacks.

Sarah Silverman

Jesus is Magic

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Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

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Topic

The crucifixion

Speaker

Sarah Silverman

Source

Jesus is Magic

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

2005 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Jesus is Magic. Directed by Liam Lynch, performed by Sarah Silverman, Roadside Attractions, 2005.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

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Topic

Origin of the universe Beginning of time Creation of the world The universe

Author

Douglas Adams

Source

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Medium

Radio broadcast Novel

Genre

Science fiction

Statement Type

Opening lines Joke

Language

English

Time

1978 1970s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Original Citation

Adams, Douglas. "Fit the Fifth." The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Primary Phase. BBC Radio 4, London, England, UK, 5 Apr. 1978.

Current Citation

Adams, Douglas. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Pan Books, 1980, ch. 1.

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the President's spouse. I wish him well!

Barbara Bush

More information about this quote

Topic

American Presidency

Speaker

Barbara Bush

Medium

Speech

Genre

Commencement address

Statement Type

Political joke Joke

Language

English

Time

1990 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Bush, Barbara. Remarks at Wellesley College commencement. Commencement ceremony. 1 June 1990. Wellesley, MA, USA.

Would it not be easier
In that case for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?

Bertolt Brecht

More information about this quote

Topic

Parliamentary democracy Citizen and state Democracy

Author

Bertolt Brecht

Source

The Solution

Medium

Poem

Statement Type

Irony Joke

Language

German

Time

1956 1950s 20th century

Authentication Score 1

Citation

Brecht, Bertolt. "Die Lösung [The Solution]." Die Welt, 1959.

I have several walls in several rooms of my house covered with the snowstorm of rejections, but they didn't realize what a strong person I was, I persevered and wrote a thousand more dreadful short stories, which were rejected in turn.

Ray Bradbury

More information about this quote

Topic

Rejection Writing Perseverance

Author

Ray Bradbury

Source

Snoopy's Guide to the Writing Life

Statement Type

Irony Joke

Language

English

Time

2002 2000s 21st century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Bradbury, Ray. Quoted in Snoopy's Guide to the Writing Life, edited by Barnaby Conrad and Monte Schultz. Writer's Digest Books, 2002.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

Mitch Hedberg

Strategic Grill Locations

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Topic

Drugs Proclivities

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Strategic Grill Locations

Medium

Comedy album

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Strategic Grill Locations. 7 Sept. 1999, The Laff Stop Comedy Club, Houston, Texas, USA.

The English winter—ending in July,
To recommence in August.

Lord Byron

Don Juan

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Topic

Winter Seasons

Author

Lord Byron

Source

Don Juan

Medium

Poem

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1823 1820s 19th century

Authentication Score 2

Original Citation

Lord Byron. Don Juan. London: John Hunt, 1823, canto 13, st. 42.

Current Citation

Lord Byron. "Don Juan." Lord Byron: The Major Works, edited by Jerome J. McGann. Oxford University Press, 2008, canto 13, st. 42.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love.

Annie Hall

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Topic

Masturbation

Speaker

Alvy Singer

Actor

Woody Allen

Source

Annie Hall

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy (film) Comedy

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1977 1970s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Annie Hall. Directed by Woody Allen, A Jack Rollins and Charles H. Joffe Production, 1977.

We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life. Oops, we made a mistake.

Mrs. Doubtfire

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Topic

Intelligent life

Speaker

Daniel Hillard

Actor

Robin Williams

Source

Mrs. Doubtfire

Medium

Film

Genre

Comedy drama (film) Comedy (film) Comedy drama Comedy

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1993 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Mrs. Doubtfire. Directed by Chris Columbus, 20th Century Fox/Blue Wolf Productions, 1993.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

More information about this quote

Topic

Existence of God God

Author

Woody Allen

Source

The New Yorker

Medium

Magazine

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1973 1970s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Allen, Woody. "Selections from the Allen Notebooks." New Yorker, 5 Nov. 1973.

Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.

Sam Levenson

More information about this quote

Topic

Parents and children

Author

Sam Levenson

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1961 1960s 20th century

Authentication Score 1

Citation

Levenson, Jam. Quoted in Ada Weekly News. 6 Apr. 1961.

I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.

Ronald Reagan

1984 Presidential Debates

More information about this quote

Topic

American politics Political campaigns Politics

Speaker

Ronald Reagan

Source

1984 Presidential Debates Presidential debates

Medium

Political debate

Statement Type

Political joke Joke

Language

English

Time

1984 1980s 20th century

Authentication Score 0

Citation

Reagan, Ronald. "The Second Reagan-Mondale Presidential Debate." 21 Oct. 1984, Municipal Auditorium, Kansas City, MO, USA. Presidential debate.