Chris Rock

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When you got a career, there ain't enough time in the day. You look at your watch, time just flies, like God damn, whoa, it's 5:35! Damn, I gotta come in early tomorrow and work on my project. Cause there ain't enough time when you got a career. When you got a job, there's too much time. That's right, you look at your watch like, ah shit. 9:08.

Chris Rock

Watch Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger at Amazon Watch Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger at Amazon

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger. HBO, 27 Sept. 2008.

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When you really love somebody, you got to love everything about them. You got to love the crust of a motherfucker. You can’t just love the white part of the bread. You got to love the crust, the crumbs, the little fuckin' crumbs at the bottom of the toaster. That’s what the real motherfucker is.

Chris Rock

Bigger & Blacker

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Rock, Chris. Bigger & Blacker. HBO, 10 July 1999.

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When guys cheat, it’s like we want something new. But then you know what happens? Your woman finds out, and now she’s new. She is never the same again.

Chris Rock

Tamborine

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Tamborine. Netflix, 14 Feb. 2018.

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Clinton damn near got impeached, for what? For what? Lied about a blowjob so his wife wouldn’t find out. ls that against the law? Do you need the Supreme Court for that one? You could have took that one to The People’s Court! Could have took that one to Judge Judy. She’d have knocked it out in a half hour, plus commercials.

Chris Rock

Bigger & Blacker

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Rock, Chris. Bigger & Blacker. HBO, 10 July 1999.

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As long as you live you ain't never gonna see no black vice president. Not while the president's white! Oh no, you will never see. Do you know what they say, “never say never”? I'm saying never! Never see no black vice president. Not while there’s a white president, and you know why? ‘Cause some black guy would just kill the president, that’s why! Shit, I’d do it!

Chris Rock

Bring the Pain

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Bring the Pain. HBO, 1 June 1996.

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We got so much food in America we allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit! You think anybody in Rwanda's got a fuckin' lactose intolerance?

Chris Rock

Bring the Pain

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Bring the Pain. HBO, 1 June 1996.

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When you’re in a relationship, you’re in a band. And when you’re in a band you have roles that you play in the band. Sometimes you sing lead, and sometimes you’re on tambourine.

Chris Rock

Tamborine

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Tamborine. Netflix, 14 Feb. 2018.

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And I'm not sayin' he shoulda killed her…but I understand.

Chris Rock

Bring the Pain

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Rock, Chris. Chris Rock: Bring the Pain. HBO, 1 June 1996.

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You got to get your kid on or your groove on. You can’t get both on at the same time.

Chris Rock

Bigger & Blacker

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Rock, Chris. Bigger & Blacker. HBO, 10 July 1999.

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