Comedy Central Presents

Explore 5 quotes from Comedy Central Presents

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

Mitch Hedberg

Comedy Central Presents

Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon
Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

More information about this quote

Topic

Being single Relationships

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Comedy Central Presents

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Statement Type

Joke

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Comedy Central Presents. Comedy Central, 5 Jan. 1999.

You know you can't please all the people all the time, and last night all those people were at my show.

Mitch Hedberg

Comedy Central Presents

Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon
Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

More information about this quote

Topic

Artist and audience

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Comedy Central Presents

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Comedy Central Presents. Comedy Central, 5 Jan. 1999.

I especially hate turtlenecks. Like wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day.

Mitch Hedberg

Comedy Central Presents

Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon
Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

More information about this quote

Topic

Clothing

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Comedy Central Presents

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Comedy Central Presents. Comedy Central, 5 Jan. 1999.

I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk. Liquor severely screws up the way I walk. It ain't like a crutch, it's like a step I didn't see.

Mitch Hedberg

Comedy Central Presents

Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon
Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

More information about this quote

Topic

Alcohol

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Comedy Central Presents

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Comedy Central Presents. Comedy Central, 5 Jan. 1999.

Whenever I walk people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer it's kinda like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

Mitch Hedberg

Comedy Central Presents

Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon Watch Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg at Amazon
Read the full transcript of this special at scrapsfromtheloft.com

More information about this quote

Speaker

Mitch Hedberg

Source

Comedy Central Presents

Medium

Comedy special

Genre

Comedy (stand up)

Language

English

Time

1999 1990s 20th century

Authentication Score 3

Citation

Hedberg, Mitch. Comedy Central Presents. Comedy Central, 5 Jan. 1999.