1999

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A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Mitch Hedberg

Strategic Grill Locations

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Hedberg, Mitch. Strategic Grill Locations. 7 Sept. 1999, The Laff Stop Comedy Club, Houston, Texas, USA.

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And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Stephen Chbosky

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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Chbosky, Stephen. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Pocket Books, 1999.

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You're a goddamn quarterback! You know what that means? It's the top spot, kid. It's the guy who takes the fall. It's the guy everybody's looking at first—the leader of a team—who will support you when they understand you. Who will break their ribs and their noses and their necks for you, because they believe. 'Cause you make them believe. That's a quarterback.

Any Given Sunday

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Any Given Sunday. Directed by Oliver Stone, The Donners' Company/Ixtlan Productions, 1999.

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This isn't life! This is just stuff! And it's become more important to you than living! Well, honey, that's just nuts.

American Beauty

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American Beauty. Directed by Sam Mendes, Jinks/Cohen Company, 1999.

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Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.

Stephen Chbosky

The Perks of Being a Walflower

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Chbosky, Stephen. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Pocket Books, 1999.

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Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.

American Beauty

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American Beauty. Directed by Sam Mendes, Jinks/Cohen Company, 1999.

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This shirt is dry clean only, which means it's dirty.

Mitch Hedberg

Strategic Grill Locations

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Hedberg, Mitch. Strategic Grill Locations. 7 Sept. 1999, The Laff Stop Comedy Club, Houston, Texas, USA.

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Millions of years of evolution, right? Right? Men have to stick it in every place they can, but for women, women it is just about security and commitment and whatever the fuck else!

Eyes Wide Shut

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Eyes Wide Shut. Directed by Stanley Kubrick, Stanley Kubrick Productions/Pole Star Hobby Films, 1999.

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When you really love somebody, you got to love everything about them. You got to love the crust of a motherfucker. You can’t just love the white part of the bread. You got to love the crust, the crumbs, the little fuckin' crumbs at the bottom of the toaster. That’s what the real motherfucker is.

Chris Rock

Bigger & Blacker

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Rock, Chris. Bigger & Blacker. HBO, 10 July 1999.

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Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day except one, the day you die.

American Beauty

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American Beauty. Directed by Sam Mendes, Jinks/Cohen Company, 1999.

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Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

Office Space

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Office Space. Directed by Mike Judge, Judgemental Films, 1999.

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I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Mitch Hedberg

Strategic Grill Locations

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Hedberg, Mitch. Strategic Grill Locations. 7 Sept. 1999, The Laff Stop Comedy Club, Houston, Texas, USA.

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And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

American Beauty

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American Beauty. Directed by Sam Mendes, Jinks/Cohen Company, 1999.

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Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.

10 Things I Hate About You

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Ten Things I Hate About You. Directed by Gil Junger, Touchstone Pictures, 1999.

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I just want you to know that you're very special... And the only reason I'm telling you is that I don't know if anyone else ever has.

Stephen Chbosky

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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Chbosky, Stephen. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Pocket Books, 1999.

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No famine has ever taken place in the history of the world in a functioning democracy.

Amartya Sen

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Development as Freedom

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Sen, Amartya. Development as Freedom. Alfred A. Knopf, 1999, ch. 1.

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Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail.

Magnolia

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Magnolia. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, Ghoulardi Film Company/JoAnne Sellar Productions, 1999.

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Now, we go out there and we half-ass it because we're scared, all we're left with is an excuse. We're always gonna wonder. But, we go out there and we give it absolutely everything...that's heroic. Let's be heroes!

Varsity Blues

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Varsity Blues. Directed by Brian Robbins, MTV Films/Tollin/Robbins Productions, 1999.

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I especially hate turtlenecks. Like wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day.

Mitch Hedberg

Comedy Central Presents

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Hedberg, Mitch. Comedy Central Presents. Comedy Central, 5 Jan. 1999.

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Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?

Haruki Murakami

Sputnik Sweetheart

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Murakami, Haruki. スプートニクの恋人 [Sputnik Sweetheart]. Kodansha, 1999.

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